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Category: WorkingOut
Message: My back aches, my pants to tight, my booty shakes from left to right, my songs are on, and now you know why I am at the gym! Be back in an hour!
Submitted By: sweeetpea89

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Useless Away Messages

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If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!!
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (2623 votes)

Submitted by: Lesley
You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see it’s kind of a family crisis so…come back later?.
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (908 votes)

Submitted by: Person
I'm running outside under my blanket pretending to be an undercover agent!!
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (896 votes)

Submitted by: GiggLeGirL 664
The tree outside looks lonely, I am gonna go give it a hug! :)
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (753 votes)

Submitted by: blondie momento
Dont you wish you knew.
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (644 votes)

Submitted by: 
Killing gnomes with sporks!
  • Currently 3.76/5
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3.8/5 (619 votes)

Submitted by: laurabellz2006
I'm after the monkeys who stole my underwear last night...I'll be back as soon as I run over them with my Barbie Car....
  • Currently 3.76/5
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3.8/5 (602 votes)

Submitted by: PiNkPaNtHeR1878
they're coming to take me away haha they're coming to take me away hoho hehe haha to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and ill be happy to see those nice young men in they're clean white coats and they're coming to take me away HAHA!!
  • Currently 3.15/5
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3.1/5 (499 votes)

Submitted by: bodaciousbabe304
If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (421 votes)

Submitted by: pan0698
When you walk, always carry two sacks so that way if anyone asks you for a hand you can say, sorry, got these sacks.
  • Currently 3.17/5
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3.2/5 (405 votes)

Submitted by: Iluvcrazypeople
What is you are riding in your car in florida and a cloud that is shaped like a horse goes by? You get a craving for french fries! But you cant have any french fries because your not in france. where french fries even invented in france?
  • Currently 1.70/5
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1.7/5 (395 votes)

Submitted by: AnGeLfAcE9438821
Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (382 votes)

Submitted by: higingitsemilyPISS

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