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Category: Hanukkah
Message: It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'cause there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. on Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lekeesh..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the f**k is up
With lighting all these f**king Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew..
I'd be merry, but i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.
Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
'Cause this is the one month that you should be glad..
Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behaviour, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a Stylin' Jew..
It'd a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.
Submitted By: FrOm KoRn

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Thanksgiving Away Messages

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He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
  • Currently 4.13/5
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4.1/5 (116 votes)

Submitted by: hiperactivachica
Turkey: $25
Plates: $10
Canned Cranberry: $2
Having the whole family over: HELL
  • Currently 4.06/5
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4.1/5 (53 votes)

Submitted by: qt8586248
Running around the woods in a turkey suit protesting the hunting of innocent turkeys... I think I hear someone...
  • Currently 4.00/5
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4.0/5 (16 votes)

Submitted by: shinnythimble
Im either
a)waiting to stuff my face with food
b)stuffing my face with food
c)stuffing my face with more food
or
d)resting after stuffing my face with food
Happy Thanksgiving!!
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (39 votes)

Submitted by: mrspimpette333
Grace: Good Food Good Meat Good God Lets Eat!!!
  • Currently 3.66/5
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3.7/5 (29 votes)

Submitted by: 007fromheaven
You know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving? I dream I eat so much food that all the deliciousness rushes to my stomach and I pass out on the table
  • Currently 3.61/5
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3.6/5 (23 votes)

Submitted by: 
The Turkey Says,"Hey Look They invited Me For Dinner!"
  • Currently 3.65/5
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3.6/5 (37 votes)

Submitted by: RedFlamingo478
Last year, after watching too many corny TV shows, my mom asked all of us to say what we were thankful for. My father said he was thankful for his healthy family and his steady job, my little sister said she was thankful for her cat and her friends. I said I was thankful that they didn't cancel Must See TV just because it was Thanksgiving. Everyone laughed at me. Being a year older, I now realize that what I was supposed to do was lie.
  • Currently 3.40/5
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3.4/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: a big secret
Hey im either doing one of two things: #1 I'm eating turkey or #2 I'm listening to old people talk.
  • Currently 3.30/5
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3.3/5 (47 votes)

Submitted by: azrider65
Thanksgiving will soon be here. Turkey and stuffing will disapper.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (11 votes)

Submitted by: Michelle& Jeff
Why don't turkeys eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Because they are already stuffed.
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (62 votes)

Submitted by: jasonr
The pilgrims and the indians should be here soon.. got to get ready!!
If you want Indians and Pilgrims to come to your house on Thanksgiving please call this number 1800-Ineedhelp.
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (24 votes)

Submitted by: LilGoober32688

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