T'was the night before christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. Mom at the warehouse, dad smoking grass, I had just settled down for a nice piece of a**, when out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I knew in a moment it must be st. nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment that f*cker had fell. He filled all our stocking with pretzels and beer and a big rubber d*** for my brother the queer. He went up the chimney with a tip of his hat, Merry Christmas to all, damn "he's fat".