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Category: Finals
Message: I'm studying for finals - this defies the laws of physics by sucking and blowing at the same time :-/
Submitted By: gf206

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I am a princess, I live in the clouds. If you wanna kick it with me, you better bow down, so get on your knees, and call me your highness, cuz baby believe me I'm (your city)'s finest!
  • Currently 3.66/5
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3.7/5 (213 votes)

Submitted by: MysticMariel
Twas' the night I was babysitting, and all through the house, the kids ran around crazy, and then killed the pet mouse. I can't talk right now for fear of a fire, but leave me a message. ( I'm not up for hire.)
  • Currently 3.58/5
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3.6/5 (84 votes)

Submitted by: Jentleness
A B C D E F G, Gummie bears are chasing me. One is red, one is blue. A yellow one just stole my shoe. A B C D E F G, Gummie bears are chasing me!! (sung to the tune of the alphabet)
  • Currently 3.42/5
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3.4/5 (179 votes)

Submitted by: Geminichic023
Only in America do they have Braille on drive-thru ATM machines.
  • Currently 3.88/5
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3.9/5 (249 votes)

Submitted by: I82much1211
Only in America do they have signs in McDonald's in which they say "we have Braille and picture menus available."
  • Currently 3.28/5
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3.3/5 (60 votes)

Submitted by: youthdistorted
No motivation....
only masturbation!
  • Currently 2.25/5
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2.2/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: lastkiss240
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and chain pens to the counter.
  • Currently 3.88/5
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3.9/5 (200 votes)

Submitted by: clownhunter123
I am a princess. I have class. Touch my crown, and I'll kick your @$$!
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (125 votes)

Submitted by: Wouldntulike2kno
I'm away drownin my fish!!!! I'll be back when I'm done.
  • Currently 2.96/5
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3.0/5 (93 votes)

Submitted by: 
If a man comes up to you and asks "What's your sign," just reply "DO NOT ENTER!"
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (138 votes)

Submitted by: princesstavia us
"A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs."
Audobon Society Magazine
  • Currently 2.80/5
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2.8/5 (91 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
A woman without a man is like an idiot without a piece of bread. I'm gonna go find a peice of bread.
  • Currently 2.38/5
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2.4/5 (79 votes)

Submitted by: FongirongeIconge



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