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Category: SickHumor
Message: If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes for minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!
Submitted By: stooge

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Napoleon Dynamite Quotes, Away Messages

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I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.
  • Currently 4.23/5
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4.2/5 (185 votes)

Submitted by: 
How was school? The worst day of my life, what do you think?
  • Currently 4.15/5
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4.2/5 (179 votes)

Submitted by: 
Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
  • Currently 4.06/5
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4.1/5 (143 votes)

Submitted by: 
Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.
  • Currently 3.99/5
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4.0/5 (133 votes)

Submitted by: 
I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (123 votes)

Submitted by: 
Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (117 votes)

Submitted by: 
Did you draw her a picture?
Heck yes I did.
  • Currently 3.90/5
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3.9/5 (115 votes)

Submitted by: 
"Do the chickens have large talans?"
  • Currently 3.93/5
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3.9/5 (81 votes)

Submitted by: xoxomadisonxox
Rex: You think I got to where I am looking like Peter Pan? You want to get kicked by me while I'm wearing these bad boys?
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (72 votes)

Submitted by: Deathraptor022
You got shox, pegs...LUCKEEEEY
  • Currently 4.12/5
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4.1/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: blondiefrog12
Rex:do you think people make fun of me because I go to starla at night I don't think so
  • Currently 3.77/5
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3.8/5 (44 votes)

Submitted by: imurpunkypimp12
$6.00....Hey thats like a dollar an hour!
  • Currently 3.78/5
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3.8/5 (36 votes)

Submitted by: jazzy fizzle



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