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Napoleon Dynamite Quotes, Away Messages

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Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
  • Currently 4.36/5
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4.4/5 (489 votes)

Submitted by: 
You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.
  • Currently 4.25/5
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4.3/5 (221 votes)

Submitted by: 
What are you drawing?
A liger.
What's a liger?
It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
  • Currently 4.31/5
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4.3/5 (356 votes)

Submitted by: 
Give me some of your tots!
No, go find your own.
Come on, give me some of your tots.
No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today.
  • Currently 4.34/5
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4.3/5 (368 votes)

Submitted by: 
I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
  • Currently 4.31/5
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4.3/5 (365 votes)

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Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
  • Currently 4.26/5
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4.3/5 (474 votes)

Submitted by: 
What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
  • Currently 4.34/5
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4.3/5 (465 votes)

Submitted by: 
Skills? You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
  • Currently 4.20/5
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4.2/5 (259 votes)

Submitted by: 
Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
  • Currently 4.24/5
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4.2/5 (288 votes)

Submitted by: 
It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
  • Currently 4.23/5
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4.2/5 (222 votes)

Submitted by: 
I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.
  • Currently 4.20/5
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4.2/5 (222 votes)

Submitted by: 
How was school? The worst day of my life, what do you think?
  • Currently 4.15/5
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4.2/5 (179 votes)

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