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Category: Food
Message: If only men could be as satisfying as chocolate.
Submitted By: sccrangel4life

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Hanukkah Away Messages

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You know you are a Jew on christmas when:
1)You work and get more money for it
2)After your hard days work you order chinese food
3)You then pick up you food and enjoy with a Dr. Browns soda
4)You catch a movie
5)You sleep
  • Currently 3.11/5
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3.1/5 (18 votes)

Submitted by: 
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'cause there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. on Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lekeesh..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the f**k is up
With lighting all these f**king Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew..
I'd be merry, but i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.
Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
'Cause this is the one month that you should be glad..
Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behaviour, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a Stylin' Jew..
It'd a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.
  • Currently 2.85/5
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2.9/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: FrOm KoRn
Why can't we have someone who puts presents under the menorah?!?!
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: samsamsamsam
Im with the j.c. (jew crew)
haha brb!!!
  • Currently 2.38/5
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2.4/5 (8 votes)

Submitted by: yayayayaya
I am telling you something you probably never knew! I am finally telling you, I am a JEW! Happy Hanukkah!
  • Currently 2.73/5
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2.7/5 (15 votes)

Submitted by: judycutie
O menorah, o menorah why are you so shiny? I tried to get closer, but then I burned my hiny! O menorah, O menorah, wont your flames please stand still? Well, my buttt is burning so here is my will! Happy Hanukkah!
  • Currently 2.78/5
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2.8/5 (9 votes)

Submitted by: lallthehobo
Hanukkah o hanukkah come light the menorah, six pack of beer, and we'll all have a hora!
Happy Hanukkah!!!
  • Currently 2.00/5
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2.0/5 (6 votes)

Submitted by: imkanner1010
Happy hanukkah! Even though I am not a jew, but I celebrate it 'cause I want ta you hoo
Happy Hanukkah!!
  • Currently 2.63/5
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2.6/5 (8 votes)

Submitted by: LiLd3vil502
Oh Hanukkah tree! oh Hanukkah tree! 0oh how you shine soo bright!! oh yeah im soo good!!
  • Currently 1.86/5
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1.9/5 (7 votes)

Submitted by: booger
Tell the world-amanaka
It's time for chanukah
It's not pronounced ch-nakah
The c is silent in chanukah
So get your hooked on phonica
Get drunk in tijuanaka
If you really really wannaka
Have a happy happy happy happy chanukah.
  • Currently 3.04/5
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3.0/5 (24 votes)

Submitted by: *~*Jen*~*
Chanukah chanukah festivel of lights,
Celebrate the story of the secret oil that lasted 8 long nights,
Chanukah chanukah now the time is here,
Spin the dreidel
dance the hora
Chanukah is here.
  • Currently 2.91/5
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2.9/5 (11 votes)

Submitted by: *~*Jen*~*
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Yes I celebrate Hanukkah . . .
Why don't you?
  • Currently 2.50/5
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2.5/5 (14 votes)

Submitted by: Jew Dude

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