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Category: Christmas
Message: Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh ohh yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that your coming to town
Submitted By: fishea162

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Funny Away Messages

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The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (1601 votes)

Submitted by: sweet12
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.8/5 (1592 votes)

Submitted by: luckyangel5346
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...But suicide's a crime :-/
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (1583 votes)

Submitted by: BluesCluesGrl362
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (1220 votes)

Submitted by: BunBun
The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.
  • Currently 3.72/5
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3.7/5 (1181 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
You are probably doing one of these two things:
1. You think you are slick by checking my profile to see what my away message is, so you don't have to IM me and look stupid.
-or-
2. You are looking stupid because there is a little yellow post-it right next to my name, and yet you still IM me.(With the exception that I was talking to you before and now you are answering me, and in that case you are SLOW!)
  • Currently 3.64/5
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3.6/5 (1178 votes)

Submitted by: P1NKFLAM1NGOZ
Mickey Divorces Minnie Judge: Mickey you can't divorce Minnie on the account that she's silly. Mickey: I didn't say she was silly, I said she was f**king Goofy!!
  • Currently 3.77/5
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3.8/5 (1177 votes)

Submitted by: XootemptationXoo
Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
  • Currently 3.78/5
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3.8/5 (1149 votes)

Submitted by: MICHAE2414
Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody. Therefore I am perfect.
  • Currently 3.73/5
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3.7/5 (1111 votes)

Submitted by: BrBiegrl90210
I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (1095 votes)

Submitted by: boddah2k
Two words guys hate... don't & stop unless you put them together!
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (1034 votes)

Submitted by: creamanpeachez
If you want me to fall for you, you better get something for me to trip over.
  • Currently 3.75/5
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3.7/5 (1027 votes)

Submitted by: Chels

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