AIM Away Messages
Away Messages
Navigate
Links

Away Message of the Moment

Category: away
Message: My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...Wait I forgot, I don't have braces! Be right back when I find out why I'm stuck to the carpet.
Submitted By: crunchblaster

Search

Funny Away Messages

Sort by: Newest  Ranking  Votes 
Dr. Seuss' lost tounge twister
see if you can do this:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
  • Currently 3.96/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.0/5 (11919 votes)

Submitted by: wzac
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
  • Currently 3.99/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.0/5 (4801 votes)

Submitted by: fetterattereich
You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
  • Currently 3.98/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.0/5 (4765 votes)

Submitted by: lilojewel
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. BRB
  • Currently 3.95/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.9/5 (4677 votes)

Submitted by: Sara
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some Marijuana. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna? Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son.
  • Currently 3.82/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (3738 votes)

Submitted by: kaylamarie23
I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
  • Currently 3.81/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (2929 votes)

Submitted by: DoogieMD
I'm riding the ponies outside WalMart. Be back when I run out of quarters.
  • Currently 3.83/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (2696 votes)

Submitted by: VMan25bv
10 things men know about women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. WOMEN HAVE BOOBS
  • Currently 3.70/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.7/5 (2342 votes)

Submitted by: Chaneseman
How can you keep an idiot busy? Click Here to find out...
  • Currently 3.86/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.9/5 (2173 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
A husband and wife were moving from Illinois to Florida. The husband left 5 days earlier. He sent an e-mail to his wife when he got to their new home. He accidently typed in the wrong adress, and it was sent to an eldery woman whose husband had just died. The message read:
"Dear my love,
I've just arrived for my destination. Plans are made for your arrival tommorrow.
Love, Your Husband
P.S. It sure is warm down here.
  • Currently 4.35/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.3/5 (1960 votes)

Submitted by: KBizzle2321
Rules of me:
#1. i am always right
#2, just in case i am wrong see rule #1
  • Currently 3.91/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.9/5 (1786 votes)

Submitted by: i aint tellin
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
  • Currently 3.81/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (1773 votes)

Submitted by: Kara

 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 Next » 
« Home


©2002-2017 Binary Inertia LLC
All rights reserved
We are in no way affiliated with AOL(R)