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Category: other
Message: I dont swim in your toilet, so please don't piss in my pool!!!
Submitted By: SweetBlonde50

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Funny Away Messages

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Heaven doesn't want me... But Hell's afraid I'll take over!
  • Currently 3.43/5
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3.4/5 (269 votes)

Submitted by: 
Is there a reason why you keep on IMing me? Do you need help? There is a program just for you called... Mavis Beacon!
  • Currently 1.64/5
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1.6/5 (269 votes)

Submitted by: P1NKFLAM1NGOZ
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (278 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
Remember, %n, that when someone annoys you it takes 32 muscles in your faceto frown, but only 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mofo upside the head.:-D
  • Currently 3.00/5
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3.0/5 (280 votes)

Submitted by: sexylilblondie98
This is (your sreen name):
If you are the credit card company, I already sent the money.
If you are one of my friends, you owe me money.
If you are female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
  • Currently 3.37/5
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3.4/5 (282 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
Incase of fire scroll down!!
.
.
.
I said in case of a fire dummy!
  • Currently 3.18/5
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3.2/5 (282 votes)

Submitted by: CopeH1984
How do you kill a purple elephant? Use a purple elephant gun. How do you kill a gray elephant? Strangle it until it turns purple and then shoot it with the purple elephant gun.
  • Currently 3.55/5
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3.5/5 (282 votes)

Submitted by: charm
Sorry, I only listen to the little voices inside my head...
  • Currently 3.51/5
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3.5/5 (284 votes)

Submitted by: Pinkpanther
Ahhh I'm running after the bad guy who took my pack of Skittles..... I worked hard for that pack..... Ahhh he's eating them!!! Now he's throwing them at me.... Call 911!!!
  • Currently 3.25/5
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3.2/5 (286 votes)

Submitted by: 
Its not right for people to walk around with there shirts off to show their muscles... I mean you don't see me walking around with my shorts off.....
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (288 votes)

Submitted by: Tommy H 26
O__o...this is bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes pointy things. I suggest you run away from bob.
  • Currently 3.51/5
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3.5/5 (289 votes)

Submitted by: GreendayObsessed
Right now I'm dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music....
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (291 votes)

Submitted by: wouldn't you like to kno

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