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Category: Life
Message: Growing old is manditory...but growing up...well that my friends...is OPTIONAL!
Submitted By: rllrbldnbabyxoxo

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Funny Away Messages

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I'm busy right now but leave your name and number so I can throw it away.
  • Currently 3.24/5
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3.2/5 (131 votes)

Submitted by: Six66and1half
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (633 votes)

Submitted by: mltrack87
Rules of me:
#1. i am always right
#2, just in case i am wrong see rule #1
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (1786 votes)

Submitted by: i aint tellin
This place reeks of evil. Either that, or it's sausage... Nope, I'm pretty sure it's evil.
  • Currently 3.19/5
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3.2/5 (189 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
It's only funny untilsomeone gets hurt...then it's hilarious!!!
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (625 votes)

Submitted by: bombsaway003
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
-Warning label on a fax machine
  • Currently 2.64/5
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2.6/5 (81 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
The zoo called....they want you back in the cages with the other monkeys!!
  • Currently 2.96/5
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3.0/5 (115 votes)

Submitted by: meg
I'm out...If you need to reach me call 1-800-I-Need-A-Life
  • Currently 2.49/5
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2.5/5 (72 votes)

Submitted by: Coronababy
To see your future, look below...

Some person called (your screen name)will be back in a couple minutes!
  • Currently 2.19/5
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2.2/5 (68 votes)

Submitted by: Ilikemuffinz8778
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
My house is on fire!!!
Must....save....computer....
kinda preoccupied at the moment, please leave message, oh yeah, and call 911, must....save......computer......
  • Currently 2.94/5
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2.9/5 (161 votes)

Submitted by: snookthebook
Dude did u know that a gorilla escaped? Well I didn't either until it knocked on my door, called me a dirty ho, and kicked me in the leg! So right now I am chasin that damn monkey! I'm gonna knock his lights out! Yeah thats what I'm gonna do so chill 4 a bit..!
  • Currently 2.99/5
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3.0/5 (177 votes)

Submitted by: lilstarbaby1205
If you sleep with a girl without protection, you're having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
  • Currently 3.59/5
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3.6/5 (445 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099

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