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Busy poking my neighbor with a spork. Be back soon, she's really old and wrinkly.
- Currently 3.17/5
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3.2/5 (148 votes)
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Submitted by: tingrin1088 |
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Two beers $7three margaritas $15four jello shots $20Taking home the girlwho drank all of the above....PRICELESS
- Currently 2.88/5
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2.9/5 (123 votes)
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Submitted by: bombsaway003 |
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Mickey Divorces Minnie Judge: Mickey you can't divorce Minnie on the account that she's silly. Mickey: I didn't say she was silly, I said she was f**king Goofy!!
- Currently 3.77/5
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3.8/5 (1177 votes)
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Submitted by: XootemptationXoo |
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Error 405: Reality.sys corrupted. Universe halted. Reboot (y/n)?
- Currently 1.72/5
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1.7/5 (173 votes)
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Submitted by: ncjon118 |
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The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.
- Currently 3.72/5
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3.7/5 (1181 votes)
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Submitted by: skiendog |
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What if the hokey pokey is real? What's it all about? Will we have to turn ourselves around?
- Currently 2.63/5
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2.6/5 (109 votes)
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Submitted by: KraziCutie37 |
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Right now I'm dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music....
- Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (291 votes)
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Submitted by: wouldn't you like to kno |
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I'm doing something really important right now. I'm spinning in my computer chair, be with you when I can see straight again......"PLease stop the room from spinning, I'd like to get off
- Currently 3.55/5
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3.6/5 (235 votes)
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Submitted by: username |
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Oh no! The commercials are true! The slim jim man really is alive and he is in my stomache flirting with my cupcake!
- Currently 2.91/5
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2.9/5 (126 votes)
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Submitted by: username |
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If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
- Currently 3.74/5
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3.7/5 (331 votes)
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Submitted by: |
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Attention! Attention %n ! This is a National alert. Food was spilled from the cat bowl. We've sent out clean up teams to correct this mess. Hopefully we can do something about it. Before it's too late!
- Currently 2.47/5
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2.5/5 (83 votes)
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Submitted by: LunarLady799 |
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Hey, I'm having a party right now! We have a DJ who rocks the house, a dance floor, plenty of food, and all the kewl people. If you IMing me, obivously you weren't invited!
- Currently 3.01/5
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3.0/5 (91 votes)
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Submitted by: lovelyladeelove9 |
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