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Category: Joke
Message: A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about to minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
Submitted By: hufflehaire

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Funny Away Messages

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My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (530 votes)

Submitted by: Livy
Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (484 votes)

Submitted by: Livy
You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor with out holding on...
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (405 votes)

Submitted by: VMan25bv
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (278 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
Inventions rejected:fireproof matches
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (231 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
I am right 90% of the time. So why worry about the other 3%?
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (334 votes)

Submitted by: lumberfoot
Sorry, I only listen to the little voices inside my head...
  • Currently 3.51/5
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3.5/5 (284 votes)

Submitted by: Pinkpanther
His AE shirt ... $35, his A&F shorts ... $48, his GAP boxers ... $12, his Adidas sandals ... $20. All these items on your floor . . . priceless.
  • Currently 3.52/5
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3.5/5 (600 votes)

Submitted by: PetYoDog8
Its not right for people to walk around with there shirts off to show their muscles... I mean you don't see me walking around with my shorts off.....
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (288 votes)

Submitted by: Tommy H 26
Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in technicolor
  • Currently 3.48/5
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3.5/5 (267 votes)

Submitted by: i am awesome
Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.
  • Currently 3.55/5
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3.5/5 (172 votes)

Submitted by: Z
I threw rocks at the campus clown again, so if the police show up at your door, we never had this conversation...
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (187 votes)

Submitted by: Naughtybunny15

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