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Category: Other
Message: I am a princess. I have class. Touch my crown, and I'll kick your @$$!
Submitted By: Wouldntulike2kno

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Funny Away Messages

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I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (1095 votes)

Submitted by: boddah2k
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a sh*tty outlook on life. If you don't believe me, pulla hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (853 votes)

Submitted by: 
YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But...
If you want to fix your computer, do what these directions tell you:
Type the following into your favorite write program (Microsoft Word, Notepad etc.):
Type an M
Type an I before the M
Make a space after the M
Type a P
Type a D after the P
Type an S right before the P
Type a U Before the P But after the S
Make a Space after the D
Type an R
Type An O BEFORE and AFTER the R
Go back to the begining
Type an A before the S and then make a space
Go to the end
Type an M Before the first O
Go to the middle
Type a T between the S and the U
Type an I inbetween the P and the D
Go to the very end.
Type an N
Now read the code out loud.
Your virus is gone!
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (747 votes)

Submitted by: hahaman821
Say this real fast.
I am we todd did.
Sofa king we todd did.
  • Currently 3.74/5
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3.7/5 (626 votes)

Submitted by: TearsOfMisery
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (390 votes)

Submitted by: 
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
  • Currently 3.65/5
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3.6/5 (448 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
I'm playing hide n seek with Bin Laden damn he is good! So it might be a while
  • Currently 3.64/5
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3.6/5 (702 votes)

Submitted by: ashley
Having a staring contest with my wall... *BLINK* "dammit!!!!!"
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (719 votes)

Submitted by: ROXYPOP9
Are you mad at me? If not, press Alt+F4.
  • Currently 3.61/5
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3.6/5 (567 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
If you sleep with a girl without protection, you're having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
  • Currently 3.59/5
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3.6/5 (445 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
Let's dicuss right and left... you're right, I left! :-P
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (441 votes)

Submitted by: s214
Right now I'm dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music....
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (291 votes)

Submitted by: wouldn't you like to kno

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