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Category: Sleep
Message: Can't Sleep, Clowns will eat meCan't Sleep, Clowns will eat meCan't Sleep, Clowns will eat meCan't Sleep, Clowns will eat meIf you're reading this, I'm already DEAD!
Submitted By: Sweetassugar5130

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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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Chuck Norris can spontanously combust...AT WILL.
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (61 votes)

Submitted by: Li Motosaki
Brokeback Mountain was just 'The Mountain' before Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicked it.
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: InsrtWttyNmeHre8
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he does know where you will die.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep...he waits.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • Currently 3.95/5
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3.9/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.9/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: FinalFantayFan
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (77 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (79 votes)

Submitted by: Hannah~
If Chuck Norris is late, time needs to slow the F- down.
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: i_lub_ewe
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
  • Currently 3.93/5
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3.9/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris sued NBC because he had already named is left leg "Law" and his right "Order".
  • Currently 3.73/5
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3.7/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: Z
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (82 votes)

Submitted by: luvdonthate13

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