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Category: Food
Message: Theres a Rumble in my Tumble so to the kitchen I may Fumble!!!
Submitted By: lilpunkerbaby

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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (79 votes)

Submitted by: Hannah~
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (84 votes)

Submitted by: Hannah~
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  • Currently 4.13/5
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4.1/5 (187 votes)

Submitted by: lalala3322
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Currently 4.25/5
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4.2/5 (201 votes)

Submitted by: 
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Currently 4.05/5
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4.0/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: timlover87
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
  • Currently 4.29/5
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4.3/5 (348 votes)

Submitted by: NiCoLe ToOkAiSiX
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (82 votes)

Submitted by: luvdonthate13
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (87 votes)

Submitted by: Andrea_5
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
  • Currently 3.80/5
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3.8/5 (83 votes)

Submitted by: Shy8675
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
  • Currently 4.30/5
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4.3/5 (225 votes)

Submitted by: Dazd N Confuzd
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (109 votes)

Submitted by: Dazd N Confuzd
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter by pointing his finger and saying, "BANG!"
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (92 votes)

Submitted by: Dazd N Confuzd

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