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Category: Sick
Message: Billy's mom wouldn't let him say "crap", so he said "cow". But then she'd yell at him when he said "cow", because she knew he meant "crap".
I am sick and and I fell like "cow".
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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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If you see Chuck Norris crying, he will grant you one wish ... if your wish is dieing.
  • Currently 2.94/5
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2.9/5 (90 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (82 votes)

Submitted by: luvdonthate13
One time in an airport a guy accidentally called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (91 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly, stings like a Tomahawk missile...going at Mach 3...right at your face.
  • Currently 3.35/5
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3.3/5 (83 votes)

Submitted by: Li Motosaki
If Chuck Norris is late, time needs to slow the F- down.
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: i_lub_ewe
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (79 votes)

Submitted by: Hannah~
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep...he waits.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (87 votes)

Submitted by: Andrea_5
Chuck Norris sued NBC because he had already named is left leg "Law" and his right "Order".
  • Currently 3.73/5
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3.7/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: Z
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he does know where you will die.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (109 votes)

Submitted by: Dazd N Confuzd
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
  • Currently 3.80/5
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3.8/5 (83 votes)

Submitted by: Shy8675

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