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Category: Quotes
Message: Everybody expects tomorrow ... but maybe we shouldn't - Eric
Submitted By: Z

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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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Chuck Norris donates blood to the Red Cross ... just not his own.
  • Currently 4.09/5
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4.1/5 (100 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
The number one cause of deaths in america is heart disease, the second is chuck norris
  • Currently 3.96/5
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4.0/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Currently 4.05/5
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4.0/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: timlover87
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.9/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: FinalFantayFan
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
  • Currently 3.93/5
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3.9/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (120 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (84 votes)

Submitted by: Hannah~
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter by pointing his finger and saying, "BANG!"
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (92 votes)

Submitted by: Dazd N Confuzd
Chuck Norris puts the "laugher" in "manslaughter."
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Brokeback Mountain was just 'The Mountain' before Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicked it.
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: InsrtWttyNmeHre8
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • Currently 3.95/5
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3.9/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.9/5 (96 votes)

Submitted by: sillyrabbit



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