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Category: FatJokes
Message: Fat people are harder to kidnap
Submitted By: awesomeness

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Christmas Away Messages

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I wanted a puppy
with cute little paws,
so I wrote a letter
to dear Santa Clause.
I ran with joy to the
Christmas Tree
and stepped on my puppy,
Now he's history!
  • Currently 3.29/5
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3.3/5 (45 votes)

Submitted by: cRaZyBiAtCh616
Santa must be rich.......because coal is expensive and how does he get enough for everyone.
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (38 votes)

Submitted by: jmoney358
Red Santa Oufit=$40.00
Sleigh and Reindeer=$100.00
Having you for christmas=priceless
  • Currently 3.25/5
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3.3/5 (12 votes)

Submitted by: LiLBrat9018
When grandma got run over by a reindeer, i've always wondered how she could have both hoofprints in her forehead, an incriminating clause marks in her back. wouldn't she be run over one way or the other? if you figure it out IM me.
  • Currently 3.30/5
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3.3/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: Kayaksara
Christmas: that time of the year when the world of capitalism tries to convince you that the amount of money you spend is directly proportional to how much you love someone. Typically starts mid-October and ends with New Year's Day sales.
  • Currently 3.21/5
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3.2/5 (34 votes)

Submitted by: 
All I want for christmas is you baby. So put a bow on and let me un wrap you. ;)
  • Currently 3.20/5
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3.2/5 (111 votes)

Submitted by: qtkjunkatt
Ohhhh grandma got ran over by a reindeer! walking home from our house Christmas eve.....wait wait, stop the music... maybe I should go check on her, who's gonna make dinner tomorrow morning if she's gone!.... *DOOR SLAM* grandma? "Hey now Prancer, you take your hoofs off her! Donít make me get out Santaís whip! yeahhhh thatís what I thought."
  • Currently 3.21/5
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3.2/5 (122 votes)

Submitted by: BabyGurl5875
Ho ho ho
Under the mistle toe
Kiss me once kiss me twice
Are you naughty or are you nice?
  • Currently 3.19/5
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3.2/5 (126 votes)

Submitted by: tinkerbell292929
Taking all the bows off my presents and sticking them to me, be back when im done wrapping me up!
  • Currently 3.17/5
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3.2/5 (12 votes)

Submitted by: ~ano~
Jingle Bells, %n smells, just like rotten eggs, attemped to, put on perfume, but the bottle ran away!
  • Currently 3.16/5
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3.2/5 (19 votes)

Submitted by: Kayaksara
Well, this time of year, I have a long attention span, so I can remember to open my presents!
  • Currently 3.21/5
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3.2/5 (24 votes)

Submitted by: stargirl92821
On school days, we HAVE to wake up at, 7AM, but we don't want to. Then we have Christmas vacation, and on Christmas day we purposly wake up as early as we possibly can! I- I just don't get it....
  • Currently 3.24/5
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3.2/5 (29 votes)

Submitted by: sn00py gurl02

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