Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, Or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, Then Shott was shot, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott brb

I can't talk on the computer right know so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now. I mean I'm at the computer NOW, writing this away message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess its NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool rush of skiing in the Alps, or skating in Alaska, or bobsledding in Lake Placid!
But, while I'm enjoying my York Peppermint Patty, the rush makes me oblivious to the chocolate melting in my hands. The chocolate gets on my keyboard, my mouse, my desk, and every other spot to which chocolate can stick. And when I go to throw away my York Peppermint Patty, I trip over a shoe because I'm too busy looking for a paper towel. I fall over and hit my head on the corner of my desk, cutting it deeply. The sight of my own blood causes me to regurgitate my York Peppermint Patty. Getting up and running to the phone to call 911, I slip on my own vomit, fall down again, and break my neck. And so my warning to all little children: don't smoke pot before eating a York Peppermint Patty

I know something you don't know. Would you like to know? I could tell you if you want. You do wanna know, right? Are you sure? Because once I tell you, there's no turning back ya know... you're going to be enlightened and there's going to be no way around it. You really wanna know though? Alright... Since you're so anxious to find out I'll tell you...Here it is: I'm not here right now. I'll brb.

Hey! I am away right now! Just leave me a message after the beep...............................peep (nope, not right)......keep (nope, not right again)...leap (nope).....sleep (not right)....teep (is that even a word?)....weep (not yet)....creep (hey, that's u!)....neap (neap tide?)....meep (nope).....sweep(naw)..............deep (close)....seep (closer)....i guess my machine isn't workin.....i just wasted a whole lot of your time...haha!

Why are you IMing me? Can't you see the little yellow tabby thingy next to my screen name? Or am I not on your buddy list? Gee, the thanks I get for being such a good friend... you don't even care if i'm on, do you? You're probably IM'ing me to tell me you hate me... is that right? I can't take this... this stress... too much stress... I've gone to CVS to get some aspirin and maybe a beer.

Did you know by reading this message you have wasted about 5 secounds of your life?

I'm not you ugly. I'm not are ugly. Im not a ugly. Im not JACKASS ugly. Now read the 3rd word in each sentence .................................... You have just wasted 45 seconds and got insulted.

Have you ever IMed someone just to see what their away message said?

You know, I don't understand why people feel the need to put up these long, drawn out away messages up. I mean all you really need to do is just put up gone, sleeping, eating, studying, partying. But people just seem to go on and on and on and on with these things. I mean sure, sometimes they are interesting, but come on people. It's just basically a waste of time all together...

I was going to try to write something profound for my away message....once I realized that I could not do such a thing I decided that, instead, I would write about you're mom. Then I realized that you might kick my ass if you took me seriously, so I again decided to change the topic of my away message. I toiled and pondered and dug deep into my creative mind to come up with an away message suitable for what I was trying to convey. When I realized that was impossible I decided to just tell you that I'm currently away...but I'll be back later... Send some messages please.

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly... I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was an old lady who swallowed a spider... that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. their was an old lady who swallowed a bird... a bird, a bird, how obsured. she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was and old lady who swallowed a cat, well how bout that, she swallowed a cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was and old lady who swallowed a dog, she went whole hog when she swallowed that dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. their was an old lady who swallowed a cow, I dont knpow how she swallowed the cow, she swallowed the cow to catch the dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was an old lady who swallowed a horse... she died of course.